Why I'm 25 and Still Not Married

I was having a conversation with a bus driver on Metro Transit bus route 70 last night and we were talking about marriage and why people my age are in a big rush to get married. Basically, this is what we talked about.

Marriage is the number one cause of divorce. The end of dating. The end of your sex life. Something I will never experience because, women for some reason, do not like me and I have become totally invisible to the opposite sex. Anyways..........

It has three phases: lust (when you are newlyweds) rust and dust. Which phase is your marriage in? Marriage is taken way too lightly in our society. Most people don’t realize that marriage is the hardest commitment for anyone to make. People often treat marriage as a convenience rather than a covenant, thinking how they can benefit from marriage rather than how to meet the needs of your spouse. Anyone with half a brain and $50 for a license can get married but it takes real commitment to make it work. The problem with successful marriage today is:

1. PRECONCEIVED NOTIONS OF WHAT IT WILL BE LIKE MIXED WITH POOR PREPARATION/PLANNING:

It amazes than any state will make you study for a time to get a drivers license but will instantly grant a marriage license for $50 and a blood test to any nieve couple stupid enough to marry, having the ability to ruin lives of future children and themselves if it goes wrong. The couple thinks all will be happily ever after and they will have a perfect family and live in the burbs with white, picket fences. They are willing to say their “I do’s” at the altar without knowing what to do when the honeymoon is over and adversity and trials begin. You marry a sweet girl or nice guy at the altar and then, when they honeymoon is over and you return home, the person’s real colors come out. Most couples don’t discuss their goals for the marriage or even WHY they are getting married. They don’t discuss issues of how they will raise their children, where they will live, how to budget their income, etc. Failed marriages are often the result of poor planning because the couple has not yet discovered, until it is too late, that they are not compatible for marrying each other.

2. LACK OF COMMUNICATION.

It amazes me that we have invented technology for men on earth to talk to men on the moon but cant figure out how a couple can communicate at the dinner table. A bride-to-be doesn’t discuss with her husband-to-be (or vice versa) what their needs are, what irritates her, what her sexual needs are, how they feel, how they relate to each other, their weaknesses, strengths, etc. They feel as though their emotional nudity will result in rejection. But communication is mandatory if you want to get to know the person with whom will spend the rest of your life.

3. FALLING IN LOVE IS NOT A REASON TO GET MARRIED.

Any hormone-driven Harry can fall for anything in a skirt with lipstick and highheels. You can’t live on love because what are you going to do when you don’t feel as though you are in love with your spouse at any time? There has to be more than love to proceed to marriage—a plan needs to be created. You need to determine what you want to accomplish in your future marriage and not just jump into it because you have the urge to merge. Ask yourself, “why am I wanting to marry this person?” As I said, there MUST be a goal or it WILL fail.

Marriage today has become a failed institution because our society has failed to “learn how to be married.” People take it too light and treat it as a convenience rather than a spiritual covenant. Marriage is in awesome institution when it works but can be devastating to lives when it doesn’t.

Marriage is not to be taken lightly. You must know what you are getting into and with whom before walking down the isle with your Cinderella/Prince Charming.

Anyways, not that anyone will care what I have to say but this is my opinion about the issue and the driver seemed to agree with me. I'm not trying to knock anybody down if they want to get married in their mid-20s but this is what I see in a lot of marriages, especially involving my friends/family who chose to get married before they're ready.